Milly, I can relate to your latest post. I feel totally hopeless! I have the worst friends ever! Is it me? What do I do? Nothing is going right at the moment and I can't shake the blues! x
Hi Anon, I have been thinking alot about your email. I am so sorry to hear that you have the blues. Firstly rest assured there is nothing wrong with you. You are not hopeless. Stop that thought this instance!Sometimes I know I feel down and I can't seem to help it - I find that things spiral into one big mess where I feel that I am on a roller coaster and I am out of control.When papa Milly passed away I was so SAD for a very long time. I felt useless, and angry that I couldn't help mama. Everything became a bundled mess...I questioned everything, and I realised that sometimes life SUCKS badly. That when you're feeling the blues you have to force yourself out of it.I realised even though I love my friends that sometimes they can't help, and that I would have to work things out myself. I sorta pulled together the following approach. Perhaps you can try it (I can't promise you that it will work every day but the fact that you recognsie you have the blues is a positive sign, it means you can shift them....Please try this, and also try reading the book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne....PS I apologise for having really bad verbal diahorrea (and my spelling sucks I know), I just want you to be okay. Okay?)1) Sit down and write all the things which are going well in your life. Please try. Its strange but when I think of all the things that are bad in my life, I become so miserable. And when I force myself to think about the good stuff (no matter how small it may be), it surprises me - I find that I am in a stronger frame of mind to deal with the poop.Bet you'll be surprised that you have lots of good fun happiness which is under your nose. Have you seen Star Wars? If so, remember OB1 Kanobi - Feel the Force?! well the positive vibes and mojo will be magically attracted to you. Trust me.For example, good stuff in my life includes:When the roadsweep says good morning to me, I smile to him. We now end up having a conversation in the morning! I love chatting to him because he has the happiest big smile in the world!When I get a discount for my green tea I high 5 myself. 2) Ask yourself what is it you really want? Sit down and think about what you really want. Plan how you are going to make it happen, and set yourself sensible realistic goals. Start with something small like for me I wanted to always try and be in a good frame of mind. Each day I repeat the mantra that "I only generate positive good thoughts" I know it sounds a bit lame but I find it helps me.3) Work out what isn't going right for you - Isolate the issue. Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you comparing yourself to your friends? Are you being unrealistic? If so DON'T. Remember the story of the hare and the tortoise, well I have always been slow in my life, and I get there in the end. I love the tortoise, don't rush to be the hare. 4) Don't focus on negative thoughts / people.5) Don't be so hard on your friends. Ask yourself, are they trying to help me / are they trying to put me down. If they are putting you down they are not your friends. You deserve the best! If they are lame people drop them. Find yourself new friends. Go join clubs, join twitter and start getting involved in social groups e.g. running clubs, public speaking clubs, sewing what ever interests you.Let me know how it goes.Always a friendly ear.Sending you lots of love.Good luck.Mxxx
Thank you Milly for taking the time to get back to me. It's just taken me ages to realise that people aren't who I thought they were and I keep getting let down. I need to meet new people. It's been difficult x
Hi Anon, It is really hard when you put your trust and faith in people and they let you down BUT they're not worth it.I know it must seem really difficult at the moment but it will get easier I promise you. Remind yourself that you are a special person who has a very good heart, so don't let the fact that you have met some lame people change you.Great plan to meet new people.Good ways to meet new people include:Joining clubs / activity groups e.g. running, hiking clubs, sewing courses, language courses, cookery classes, wine tasting - whatever you are into. PS I met a really good mate through a hiking club!Try out the social network sites to see if there are any local groups near you. e.g. TwitterLook at local events and see if there is anything you are interested in, and when you get there go up and talk to some people (remember dutch courage).Good luck, and let me know how you get on.MxPS I have been singing "Bring me sunshine in your smile" all day and it's actually made me happier, and want to be more sociable!