Day 9: (Better Start) New Beginning

Have some really strange dreams.

That whole I am not dating anyone has got to me.

Can't imagine being with someone else.....

I try to think of some ex-boyfriend just to shift my mind away from Prince Charming but I conjure up an image of Dad!

Freud would have a field day on this.

What the hell is that all about?

Try again to visualise anyone but Prince Charming, and this time around the roulette wheel conjures up an image of Brother D.

Leave the psychology to one side, and try meditating as Friend D suggested.

Don't even know how to meditate.

Keep thinking of a black hole in the middle of my forehead to focus on.

Give up.

End up breathing, and fall asleep eventually out of sheer tiredness.

Get up late.

Meant to meet Friend P for breakfast at 10.30am.

Arrive at 11.40am

Never mind.

Chat, and give him a super big hug as he flies back to Oz now. 

Miss him.

Make hasty approach to gym.

Have a power plates class.

I am hoping this will relieve the underlying stress that is still troubling me.

I am dying.

Shit my heart is beating so fast I cannot breath!

I am so unfit. 

How the hell did this happen? 

3 months ago I was running 17 miles, and now I can't even manage a measly power plates class.

Okay, what doesn't kill me is good for me, I keep telling myself.

At the end of class, I am feeling better.

Okay I am unfit BUT I will be looking hot in a few weeks time. 

Visualise those lovely long limbs, toned abs, stomach, and tight bum!
More to the point, Prince Charming's face when he seems me wearing pair of shorts. Okay it's worth it.

Go grocery shopping.

Even the trolleys are against me.

No trolleys, so only have basket left.
I suppose given I'm only shopping for one now I've been downgraded to a basket.

Whizz around.
Really strange as my normal ritual is to buy cheese, steaks and beers for Prince Charming.

Now, no need.

I don't even have to worry about what flavour of yoghurt to buy anymore.

Always the little things that surprise you.

Home.

Decide to change blog and write about post Bed Mate Days
(Read Day 1: Post Bed Mate
& About Me - Post Bed Mate Years)

Spend time planning the week ahead.

All I need to do is to focus on the small things first. 

Plan the small things, take control of those, forget the white elephant in the room.
Just need to keep reminding myself that.

This week need to exercise every day, book sewing classes, catch up with Friend D.

Don't forget to smile, put my happy face on when I do my make-up.
No one's died. 
Need to keep on moving.